Tag Archives: relationship

The queen of first dates, the mistress of desertion

28 Oct

Lately I’ve been reading some of my old posts, and I realize that there are some stories that I’ve left untold.  Let me right that wrong swiftly so that I can get to the bigger issue:  why the fuck am I being deserted by every single man I date?

So, I’ve told you guys about Coffin Island Guy, he’s the one I met while on a group date.  After we met, I invited him on a day trip with some friends to the small Coffin Island off the southern coast.  We had the greatest of times on this paradise island.  After that, we had one or two more dates and all of a sudden, he started ignoring my texts.  He later said he was concerned that I was getting too attached and that he was only interested in casual dating.  It made me uncomfortable that he had assumed that.  I was having fun with him but didn’t want a serious relationship at the time.  We agreed that neither of us wanted a relationship, but we enjoyed each others company, so we kept it a casual relationship.

Then one fine day, Coffin Island Guy dropped a bomb on me.  He had decided to get serious with another girl he’d been casually dating too.  There could be “friend dates” with me, but no more “sex dates.”  This really hit me hard.  I knew I never wanted a serious relationship with him cause he’s eight years younger than me and wants to have kids, which I don’t.  Still, it hurt not to be the “chosen one.”  This thing about having someone choose me over others, having someone saying he can’t live without me, started to really bug me and made me feel so low and undesirable.  I realized I wanted to try out that relationship thing after all.  I wanted to start looking for someone that would choose me over all others.

Coffin Island Guy’s girlfriend phase lasted a week, and we got back to our comfortable routine of staying over, having diner, and sex.  However, I knew this comeback wouldn’t last so I decided to create and online dating profile.  The first guy was Six Kids Guy.  For our second date we had a bottle of wine, great music, and good conversation on his balcony.  We had sex and got hooked on sexting too.  After two weeks, he told me his ex-girlfriend had asked him for a second chance and he’d said yes.  Once again, some other girl was chosen over me.  It made me feel even more undesirable to be passed on in favor of a girl he had already broken up with once.

Football Guy was the next one.  We clicked online and, after two failed attempts to meet, he invited me for diner at his place.  We had the sweetest of dates.  He made lasagna, and I brought tiramisu.  We lounged on his couch while he explained to me the rules of football, cause it’s not a popular game on my island.  We made out, and it was sweet.  I didn’t want to have sex on the first date, but after a while, I just caved in.  The week after, we made plans to go out, but he “fell asleep and couldn’t call me.”  I texted saying that that excuse wasn’t enough for me, and that it showed I wasn’t important enough.  He never texted back.  It hurts to not know who or what was chosen over being with me.

Then came Air Controller Guy.  He texted daily, sometimes more than once a day.  He said his only interest was a friendship, to have someone to hang out with.  I felt so tired of trying to get something serious going, I agreed to go out with him as friends only.  We had brunch, and it was nice and comfortable.  Conversation flowed and we had a lot of laughs.  This was a month ago.  I have heard from him maybe twice.  Can it get worse?  Even when the interest is only friendship, I get the boot.

Finally, I met Pilot Guy.  I can’t even recount his story.  It’s a fresh wound of which I have written three posts already.  Every logic in the world tells me that he has already not chosen me.  However, I still have hope that at the end of this month, like he said, he will contact me and we’ll talk.  This is the guy I want.  Everyone else pales in comparison.  No one else will do, but my experience tells me that I won’t be his choice either.

Oh, and Coffin Island Guy?  I think he’s in love with another girl, and we haven’t seen each other in a month.

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