Tag Archives: new experiences

The haunted elevator

13 Dec

So once again I’m out of work.  Let’s not go into the details because they are ridiculous.  The only reason I mention it is because, now that I’m at home during the day, I’ve been kinda restless, stuff happens in my head, and I need to write  it as a form of exorcism:

Dear Pilot Guy,

Today I was doing some housecleaning.  The thought of you crossed my mind two or three times.  It wasn’t until I got to my balcony that I was really hit by a memory of you.  I found a cigarette butt.  Your cigarette butt.  I was transported to those oh-so-happy days when I had you here.  I saw you sitting out there, cigarette in hand, watching the news.  You looked up from your iPad when I came to the door.  You smiled, that crooked smile that I’m sure no one craves more than me.

I guess that memory, along with the others, will start to fade soon.  I don’t want them to, though.  I want to keep the memory of you looking at me when I woke up next to you on my bed.  Your arm reaching out to me and pulling me closer so we could spoon for a little while.  If I have to be honest, I want most of all to keep the memory of your body pressed against mine, of us having sex, of you moaning in pleasure, of our bodies spent after so much desire.

Then I think of you.  I wonder if you review your memories of me.  I’m sure you do.  There’s a particular one that I really hope torments you daily.  There’s a certain elevator where we shared our first crazy, passionate kiss.  It’s there, at the airport where you land every day.  The one you take off from every day too.  I imagine you, in your pilot’s uniform, the mandatory sunglasses, coming out of your gate.  I imagine that you walk around the airport thinking of whatever thing it is you think.

Absentmindedly, you walk up to the elevator, push the button and wait.  The doors open.  You look in.  Start to walk towards it, but a flash stops you dead in your tracks.  You see us inside.  Me against the wall.  You pushing me in.  Kissing with desperation.  You see me pushing you  away to the opposite wall.  Here your imagination takes over.  I walk towards you on the other side of the elevator.  I kiss you again.  You try to put your hands around me to pull me in, but I take hold of your hands and push them away.  I start playing with your belt, and you get alarmed.  After all, this is just a two story building.  Someone is bound to come in the elevator any moment now.

I don’t care.  That actually makes it more exciting.  You smile, loving how I can be such a naughty girl wrapped in these very respectable looking skin tight white jeans and flirty navy blue shirt.  My hand starts making its way down your pants and you just let go.  I own you now.

People push past you.  They wake you up from your reverie, looking at you as if they thought you were scared of going in the elevator.  You shake the image from your head.  Once again, you decide not to go in.  Maybe some day the memory will fade, the fantasies will subside, and you will ride the elevator again.

You turn around and decide to get a coffee and wait your time out until your next flight.  You walk into the coffee shop.  Can’t help but look at the table where we sat and shared a chocolate chip cookie.  You see me licking the melted chocolate off your fingers.  You reach in for my mouth and lick the chocolate from my lips.  We kiss as passionately as our first kiss back in the elevator.

An airport for everybody, a “funhouse” for you.


How they met

13 Jun


She was waiting at the bar, looking so hot because she couldn’t help it.  She is sexy even in spite of herself.  Maybe it is because she is “latina,” or maybe just because.  Right then, the cocky kid walked in.  Button down black shirt, rolled sleeves, Starbucks coffee cup in his hand, and dazzling smile.  Five minutes after, she was sipping the alcoholic concoction disguised as coffee that he offered her.  She couldn’t have known that she was in for it right then.

After a brisk walk, that left her all wet with sweat, they got to the other bar where they were going to hang out with a group of strangers who, try as they might, would never look like locals.  They came in and out of each others’ line of sight several times.  Each time he became more daring.  She became weaker by the minute.

Flirty looks and furtive touches led to forgetting about the rest of the strangers.  Amongst all those people, he kissed her.  She was awkward.  The great kisser that she is couldn’t get the rest of the people out of her mind.  It was not supposed to happen this way.  He wasn’t supposed to be this blunt.  She wasn’t supposed to forget about herself.

He led her out of that place.  Held her hand while walking through dark streets.  They kissed like adolescents discovering the tug that begins in the belly and fills your body with electricity.  They almost didn’t make it all the way to his place.  She said no, then yes, and then no again, forgetting how much she wanted until she couldn’t forget anymore.  He said please don’t leave, and she stayed long enough to savor the moment.

The one where I gave my number to a 21 year old

27 Nov

One of my best friends got married last weekend.  I went to the wedding, got wine happy, danced till I dropped, met two different guys and flirted with a 21 year old cubby from the groom’s family.  It was the best wedding ever!!!

At first I was kind of debating if I should go or not cause I didn’t know a lot of people in the wedding and I didn’t have a date, but there was no way I could not be there for my friend.  She’s one of those friends that you stop seeing for several months but then one calls the other and it’s as if not a day has gone by.  Also, she has been there for me in every milestone of my life, so I had to be there to celebrate with her.

I decided to invite a girlfriend from work with whom I have gone out before and every time we have had a great time.  Even before the reception started, we were approached by two guys, Salt & Peppa Guy and Fuchsia Tie Guy.  They were nice, witty and ready to party.  All of a sudden, Fuchsia Tie Guy’s wife joined us.  No problem, all five of us danced the night away, all together making a very lively and happy group.

I didn’t even think it weird when Fuchsia Tie Guy asked me for my number in front of his wife, he was being friendly, you know.  Well, they left kind of early and my friend and I stayed with Salt & Peppa Guy.  He kept saying that he needed to leave, but we were actually the last to leave the room.  Before we left, I received a text from Fuchsia Tie Guy:  “thanks for giving me the opportunity of meeting you.”


How did I get it wrong?!!!  How did he get it so wrong?!!!  I felt insulted.  What did he think of me?  Did his wife know about the text?  Were they considering me for a possible threesome?  My answer was:  “Sure!  It was a pleasure to meet you guys.  You’re a super cool couple.”  That’s where that died.

I know you’re wondering about the cubby.  Here it goes:  going out of the ball room, I found my friend talking to this very young guy, who seemed a little tipsy.  She introduced him to Salt & Peppa Guy and me, and we started talking.  He’s in college and wants to hang out with “experienced women.”  Said he had a lot to learn.  I was kind of tipsy myself so I said:  “well here’s my number.  call me and we’ll hang out!”


Well that boy was on to something because he walked us to he parking lot and hitched a ride back to the hotel.  When he was going to get out of the car, he planted a kiss on each of our cheeks and offered to call a friend who would go out with us too.  Apparently, this friend is willing to be naughty, or so the cubby said.

So you see, the cubby got a lot more from us than Salt & Peppa Guy who actually left kind of mad and in a hurry because my friend and I were playing with the cubby.

I don’t think the cubby will call.  There was too much alcohol consumption amongst us.  But it is really funny for me to think how far I have come.  Two years ago, I would not even dream of dancing so freely at a wedding or even becoming a fledgeling cougar.

You guys have to watch this badly written and poorly acted “movie.”  It’s hilarious!  I promise I didn’t look or sound like that when I was picking up my cubby, and I do know how to use my “box.”

I just felt like I needed to share with you guys

12 Nov


That’s me.  The girl in the blue shirt.  Today I went to a yoga retreat at the Río Piedras Botanical Gardens.  This is the longest time I’ve lasted in a headstand without any help.  My teacher is behind me, just in case.

The retreat was all about change, about letting go of whatever is holding us back and working on being the best we can be.  Something I’m in much need of right now.


This place has always been very special to me, since I was a little girl.  It is so full of beauty!

I know I don’t got my sh!t together yet, but I’m pretty sure most people don’t either

7 Nov

Sometimes I feel like these guys, wrestling an anaconda in a very theatrical way for no reason whatsoever.

Being so busy lately and going through a writer’s block have made me think harder about my plan and my objectives.  I’m still trying to approach this search for love as a scientific pursuit, even though I’m more of a right-brainer.  So when the opportunity to interact with a new guy presented itself, I was ready to distance myself from the events and study my interactions the way they did on that show Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

I met Necessary Roughness Guy at a restaurant’s karaoke night.  He approached my friend with a silly question about the glass of sangría she was holding, then he hung around me and we struck up a conversation.  We danced, talked about silly stuff, exchanged numbers, and closed down the place at the end of the night.

My impression of him was that he was kinda meh, but he kept texting and calling, so I decided to go out with him again five days later.  While we talked, I tried to imagine myself jumping his bones, but couldn’t quite picture it.  However, I found that he had a very important quality that I need in a man:  he wasn’t full of shit.  He talked straight, and I liked it very much.  I’m so tired of men playing games and not really saying what they actually think that this was refreshing.

I was still not sure of how much interest I had in pursuing this, so I tried to keep it light.  I practiced a lot of restraint and was actually very proud of myself for maintaining control of the situation at all times.  It seemed like I was learning something.

There was so much progress made be me in such a short amount of time that I was very impressed.  I didn’t let his calls, or lack thereof, to affect my mood during the day.  I was thinking about what I really want and trying to decide if this guy really deserved a chance to get to know me.

Then Friday came.  I had already made plans for a girl’s night out.  He asked me if he could see me that night, and I said no.  It was my girls’ night, no boys allowed.  As luck would have it, he ended up with his boys, at the same place.  That’s when it got weird for me.

He saw me and we talked, but he made no attempt to spend time with me.  He said he was with his boss, and that he was “working.”  I actually didn’t mind, cause I really didn’t need to be with him, but then I saw him several times talking to other girls, which was not “working” in my mind.  He also kept walking by my table to go to the bar, which was out of the way, and he would just bump into me or lightly touch me and hurried by again.

I think he was trying to make a point, cause I said I didn’t want to see him that night.  The thing is that I wanted to assert my independence.  I will not let myself fall again in the trap of depending too much on a man’s whim.  What I see as unnecessary is the need to play a game.  Why did he have to resort to playing games with me?  Wasn’t he a straight talker?  Couldn’t he just simply say what he thought?  Or Am I expecting too much?

After that, we haven’t talked.  It’s been three days.  He called yesterday, and I couldn’t answer.  I really am at a loss.  Can someone please explain?

Achievement is a bitch

4 Oct


Ok, guys, I did it.  I did the headstand.  My feet were in the air for 5  to 10 seconds.  There was a wall behind me just in case I fell, but I did it, and let me tell you, it is awesome!  The feeling of achieving something that a month ago was not even a possibility is incredible.  What I wasn’t considering, though, was that I would want more after this.

Two classes after, I feel like the headstand is really child’s play.  I wanna move on to other poses.  I’m discovering a competitive side of me that would have made me very successful had I played sports when I was younger, but I was much too busy reading the Anne of Green Gables collection.


So on to other poses it is.  Some days ago, I noticed one of the other students warming up before class.  He went into a pose that seemed complicated and yet simple at the same time.  “That’s the next one!” I thought.  I had been looking at youtube videos and tutorials on how to do the crow, but didn’t think I would be able to do it.  But, guys, I was wrong.  I did that one too!


I feel like I’m on a roll.  Remember that group date I was dreading to go to?  I did that too.  It was cool.  The people were great, very down to earth, and kind.  We had a great time watching the documentaries and then went on to have a lively diner with nice conversation and shared foods.  It felt very comfortable and familiar.  Of that too I want more, so this Friday night I will meet with them and go to La Placita de Santurce.  It is like a town’s square surrounded by dive bars and restaurants where people hang out at night, drink cheap beer, eat fried foods, and dance salsa right on the sidewalks.  This is really turning it up a notch for me.  My dancing skills are limited, and we have talked about my alcohol consumption resistance levels before, but if I could balance my body on my two hands, while projecting my butt to the ceiling, what’s really gonna stop me from partying like an animal on Friday?

  I’m warming up to this bitch a little.  She sure knows her stuff.

Look guys, no feet!

20 Sep


I did it!  There has been progress made in my yoga class!  I achieved the tripod balance pose!  I am actually one step (or two) away from a complete tripod headstand, and I am ecstatic about this.  I feel daring, brave, accomplished.

Never being one to take risks or challenge myself  physically, I am amazed at the ease with which I went into the pose.  Lately, I have noticed that there is a lot more flexibility in my poses and I have been more confident in class.  I think the teacher also noticed this and so she started to coach me into the pose.  It took me three classes to achieve this, and I guess it will take me a little longer to dare to do the complete headstand, but I will do it.

This is new.  This is not the normal me.  It is actually taking a little getting used to on my part.  But it is exactly what I wanted when I decided to take up yoga.  And so, encouraged by the success of this little adventure, I have decided to expand.

I’ve said I want to find someone to love, but I haven’t been putting myself out there so that this guy could find me.  Yes, I have been crazy busy with work, and it has been physically and emotionally draining, but I still need to go out and meet people.  I don’t think there’s another way around it.  Cause, you know, Dear Universe can’t do everything by herself.

For the past two to three months I have been a member of a group on meetup.com.  I joined cause it sounded like something I could and should be doing, but I haven’t gone to any of the meetups that they have scheduled.  I feel too shy and self-conscious to go out with a bunch of people I don’t know, even when they have welcomed me into the group.


Yesterday I noticed that there is a new meetup scheduled for Saturday.  Without thinking much, I rsvp’d and asked for directions to get there.  Now I will have to go.  We will watch short films at a park by a lagoon, and later we will walk to a close by restaurant for diner.  It sounds doable.  I think I can survive this, but it makes me anxious.  I know I will debate whether I go or not the whole day on Saturday, but I have to do it, and I want to do it.

So guys, think about me on Saturday and send me a lot of positive energy.  I need all the help I can get to go and do this.  It is really more frightening than falling flat in my butt trying to do a headstand.  However, I will work on the headstand even if I know I will fall, and I will be more social even if my butt is too flat. ha!

This bitch has no business making it look so easy.

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