Tag Archives: cheating

Saying no to one of the best sex partners I’ve had

18 Dec

I had sex for the first time almost a year after my divorce, two years after the separation.  Lollypop Guy became a fuck buddy who surfaces every now and then for one or two encounters, and then fades away.  We have crazy chemistry.  When we get together, there’s so much passion, so much desire.  I haven’t felt like this with any other man after him.  We get along pretty well, but we don’t have much in common, other than our mutual enjoyment of each other.  That’s why we both know that we will stay fuck buddies and nothing more.

The last time Lollypop Guy and I were together was about five months ago.  Last week, out of the blue, he started texting again.  I, not really knowing if I wanted to see him this time, ignored his texts.  He called the day before yesterday.  We had a nice, friendly conversation.  Got up to speed with each other, and then he mentioned that he was seeing someone.  That gave me pause, but his voice is so enticing, and you could hear the desire in it.  I let him believe that I would see him later in the week.  I needed time to think and make up my mind as to what to do.

I’ve been alone pretty much since Pilot Guy.  Aside from a brief and not noteworthy encounter with Six Kids Guy, I haven’t had sex in quite a while.  I’ve also been talking to a new guy from the dating site, but we haven’t met in person and I’m not sure it’s going to work.  Sailor Guy has his own set of issues.  All in all, I’m pretty lonely and sad, so a good fuck with a hot guy would actually be a great temptation.

Lollypop Guy is quite hot.  So what if he is dating someone?  They both live pretty far from where I live.  I’m sure we don’t know each other.  We don’t run in the same circles.  Most likely she will never find out.  Besides, he has been My fuck buddy for the past three years.  I have precedence.  And I’m so lonely… and he does me like no one else has ever done me.

I had to say no.  I couldn’t live with the knowledge that I did to someone else the exact same thing that hurt me so much.  I know I could have rationalized the shit out of having sex with Lollypop Guy.  I may have inadvertently had sex with him while he was dating someone else before.  But this time I knew.  There was no way of unknowing the fact.  The biggest thing is that, no matter how great the sex is, I want to do it with someone who will also choose to be with me.  Why the fuck do I have to give this guy the best sex he’s had in a long time (his words) when he does not, and will not, choose me?

We talked on the phone this morning.  He wants me because he hasn’t found anybody who does him quite the way I do, not even the girl he’s dating now.  I almost fell for his bullshit.  Just now he texted:  “I was honest with you.  I deserve at least one last time as a goodbye.”  My answer?  There’s no need for goodbyes.

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I guess he forgot to say he’s married

18 Dec

I just met a guy.  He is thoughtful, tender, a good dancer, a great conversationalist, and it felt like he was as attracted to me as I was to him.

My teachers, hard at work during our workshop.

My teachers, hard at work during our workshop.

I was hanging out with this group of teachers I had just given a workshop to.  As I was packing all my equipment, I received a little paper from one of them:  “Don’t leave just yet.  We’re going out for drinks tonight.”  It was a Friday night so I had to weight this decision.  I could either stay at a town that’s an hour and a half away from my house, drinking and having fun with a group of hard core partiers, or I could go home and lay on the living room rug, watching TV and munching on whatever I had in the cupboard.  It was difficult, but I decided to stay and party on.

I have to say that I love this town, this group of teachers, and their school.  The town of Orocovis  is right in the middle of my island.  It is a mountainous small town.  People are super nice, humble, serviceable.  I have to visit two schools there periodically, and every time, I come out with a warm smile on my face.  I love this group of teachers in particular because they know how to have fun, and they have included me as if they’ve known me forever.

How can you not love visiting a school where the views look like this.

How can you not love visiting a school where the views look like this.

So this particular night we were bar hopping, drinking cheap beer and pitorro (this is Puerto Rican moonshine, but I’ll deny having any shots of it to anybody) when I was introduced to this guy in a jacket and ball cap who came in with his brother.  The first thing he told me was that he knew I was on the verge of a big change in my life, that I was afraid of this change, that I had some plans that made me feel anxious, but that I needed to trust myself, take the plunge, and that I would be successful.  Did he read my previous post?!!!

I was taken by him.  He was cute, about the right age (38), and I had his undivided attention.  We drank.  We ate.  We danced.  We talked.  We had soooo much fun!  At the end of the night, I gave him my number with the absolute certainty that he would call within the next 10 to 15 minutes.

And call he did not.  He didn’t call the next day, or the next week.  Four days after, I visited the school again and talked to one of the teachers there.  I told her about the guy and that I really would love to talk to him again.  Well, guess what?  She thinks that he’s married.

Is there anything I can say about this?  I feel stupid asking why, yet again.  I really feel like giving up on finding a decent, honest man.  They are definitely  mythical creatures.  They rarely come out to play with girls like me, I think.

That crappy, living room rug looks soooo inviting right about now.

BTW, this is what I look like when I have my pathetic Friday nights laying on the rug.

BTW, this is what I look like when I have my pathetic Friday nights laying on the rug.

A message to Marc Anthony and Tito El Bambino: shut the f#ck up!

4 Dec

Don’t you guys hate it when you wake up in the morning with a song stuck in your brain, and you can’t get it out?  It happened to me yesterday.  The worst part is that it is a song that I truly hate with all my heart.  It is about a cheating man who wants to justify his scumbag cheating ways while shamefacedly blaming the ex.  Catchy, right?

  Listen to this at your own risk.  Mark has a great voice, but he’s unbearable.  Tito’s voice is unbearable.

Here are the lyrics (commentary by a woman who tried to be the best wife she could, and still was cheated on):

That one that you usually insult
(maybe because she brought it on to herself)

 knew how to give me more than you
(men-stealing-whores always seem to be giving more)

who were my woman

and even though you call her by another name
(oh, dear, I have more than just another name for her)

I’m her man
(whoa, what a prize she got herself!)

and today she’s my woman
(and very deserving she is)

 
Why do you lie to them

and sell yourself as the innocent victim
(Uh, maybe because I need to vent, and most reasonable people can see you exactly for what you are.)

 knowing you treated me

like shit in front of others

while I didn’t do that to you
(This could be a perspective kind of thing.  It could have been worked out in therapy before you decided to move on to the next.)

Ugh, the song goes on, but I just can’t stand it anymore.  I hate that it is a “hit” in local radio.  I hate that it is sung by Mark Anthony, a known serial cheater and Tito El Bambino, a guy I can’t consider either a singer, nor an artist.  I especially hate that they justify the cheating, pin the blame solely on her and shame her for choosing to talk about it.

I know no two relationships are the same and not every relationship is salvageable, but every person in a relationship deserves honesty.  Before you go looking  for what you are missing in a relationship somewhere else, why don’t you look for ways of fixing it?  If there is no fixing it, why don’t you end it before starting something else?

I think it’s a thing of common sense and common courtesy.  Nowadays there is so much selfishness that it’s hard to expect these things from most people.

I belong to the ones that believe this.

I belong to the ones that believe this.

The one where I gave my number to a 21 year old

27 Nov

One of my best friends got married last weekend.  I went to the wedding, got wine happy, danced till I dropped, met two different guys and flirted with a 21 year old cubby from the groom’s family.  It was the best wedding ever!!!

At first I was kind of debating if I should go or not cause I didn’t know a lot of people in the wedding and I didn’t have a date, but there was no way I could not be there for my friend.  She’s one of those friends that you stop seeing for several months but then one calls the other and it’s as if not a day has gone by.  Also, she has been there for me in every milestone of my life, so I had to be there to celebrate with her.

I decided to invite a girlfriend from work with whom I have gone out before and every time we have had a great time.  Even before the reception started, we were approached by two guys, Salt & Peppa Guy and Fuchsia Tie Guy.  They were nice, witty and ready to party.  All of a sudden, Fuchsia Tie Guy’s wife joined us.  No problem, all five of us danced the night away, all together making a very lively and happy group.

I didn’t even think it weird when Fuchsia Tie Guy asked me for my number in front of his wife, he was being friendly, you know.  Well, they left kind of early and my friend and I stayed with Salt & Peppa Guy.  He kept saying that he needed to leave, but we were actually the last to leave the room.  Before we left, I received a text from Fuchsia Tie Guy:  “thanks for giving me the opportunity of meeting you.”

WHAAAAAAAT?!!!!!

How did I get it wrong?!!!  How did he get it so wrong?!!!  I felt insulted.  What did he think of me?  Did his wife know about the text?  Were they considering me for a possible threesome?  My answer was:  “Sure!  It was a pleasure to meet you guys.  You’re a super cool couple.”  That’s where that died.

I know you’re wondering about the cubby.  Here it goes:  going out of the ball room, I found my friend talking to this very young guy, who seemed a little tipsy.  She introduced him to Salt & Peppa Guy and me, and we started talking.  He’s in college and wants to hang out with “experienced women.”  Said he had a lot to learn.  I was kind of tipsy myself so I said:  “well here’s my number.  call me and we’ll hang out!”

Ha!

Well that boy was on to something because he walked us to he parking lot and hitched a ride back to the hotel.  When he was going to get out of the car, he planted a kiss on each of our cheeks and offered to call a friend who would go out with us too.  Apparently, this friend is willing to be naughty, or so the cubby said.

So you see, the cubby got a lot more from us than Salt & Peppa Guy who actually left kind of mad and in a hurry because my friend and I were playing with the cubby.

I don’t think the cubby will call.  There was too much alcohol consumption amongst us.  But it is really funny for me to think how far I have come.  Two years ago, I would not even dream of dancing so freely at a wedding or even becoming a fledgeling cougar.

You guys have to watch this badly written and poorly acted “movie.”  It’s hilarious!  I promise I didn’t look or sound like that when I was picking up my cubby, and I do know how to use my “box.”

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