Saying no to one of the best sex partners I’ve had

18 Dec

I had sex for the first time almost a year after my divorce, two years after the separation.  Lollypop Guy became a fuck buddy who surfaces every now and then for one or two encounters, and then fades away.  We have crazy chemistry.  When we get together, there’s so much passion, so much desire.  I haven’t felt like this with any other man after him.  We get along pretty well, but we don’t have much in common, other than our mutual enjoyment of each other.  That’s why we both know that we will stay fuck buddies and nothing more.

The last time Lollypop Guy and I were together was about five months ago.  Last week, out of the blue, he started texting again.  I, not really knowing if I wanted to see him this time, ignored his texts.  He called the day before yesterday.  We had a nice, friendly conversation.  Got up to speed with each other, and then he mentioned that he was seeing someone.  That gave me pause, but his voice is so enticing, and you could hear the desire in it.  I let him believe that I would see him later in the week.  I needed time to think and make up my mind as to what to do.

I’ve been alone pretty much since Pilot Guy.  Aside from a brief and not noteworthy encounter with Six Kids Guy, I haven’t had sex in quite a while.  I’ve also been talking to a new guy from the dating site, but we haven’t met in person and I’m not sure it’s going to work.  Sailor Guy has his own set of issues.  All in all, I’m pretty lonely and sad, so a good fuck with a hot guy would actually be a great temptation.

Lollypop Guy is quite hot.  So what if he is dating someone?  They both live pretty far from where I live.  I’m sure we don’t know each other.  We don’t run in the same circles.  Most likely she will never find out.  Besides, he has been My fuck buddy for the past three years.  I have precedence.  And I’m so lonely… and he does me like no one else has ever done me.

I had to say no.  I couldn’t live with the knowledge that I did to someone else the exact same thing that hurt me so much.  I know I could have rationalized the shit out of having sex with Lollypop Guy.  I may have inadvertently had sex with him while he was dating someone else before.  But this time I knew.  There was no way of unknowing the fact.  The biggest thing is that, no matter how great the sex is, I want to do it with someone who will also choose to be with me.  Why the fuck do I have to give this guy the best sex he’s had in a long time (his words) when he does not, and will not, choose me?

We talked on the phone this morning.  He wants me because he hasn’t found anybody who does him quite the way I do, not even the girl he’s dating now.  I almost fell for his bullshit.  Just now he texted:  “I was honest with you.  I deserve at least one last time as a goodbye.”  My answer?  There’s no need for goodbyes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Things I See Up Here

the internet equivalent to blueberry waffles cover in bacon.............. mmmmmmm........bacon

It's not my fault.

© Wendi Bear 2017

Mercedes and Jack

A story worth telling...

Jim's Studies on Love & Dating

Simplified How To Dating Advice From Austin, TX

The Unfortunate Virgin Male

A 30 year old virgin unlucky in love..,

a girl on a search

thesaintgermain

my life, mostly every monday

Maskcara

Get out there, gorgeous.

Organized Chaos

Life, Love and the Occasional Mistake

Life from the Short Side - NYC

You think you know what this is all about.

life advice from someone who has failed at life

because solving others' problems is easier than solving your own

The Tantalising Adventures of SugarTits McBoaby

Nothing but the best in internet dating conversations, all spelling mistakes have been quoted. Depressing isn't it?

monayz

two divorced women living in today's world.

It's Not Me, It's Definitely YOU!

Come on the journey — we'll laugh, we'll cry and here's hoping we find love along the way!

Daddy Drinks

A stay at home dad just trying not to f#ck up

TheFurFiles

the Raynor family unleashed...

Sex Diary

Exactly what it sounds like. A chronicle of the intimate relationship of a fortysomething married couple.

Ella Elle L'A

"Ella, she's got it"- Kate Ryan

%d bloggers like this: