I want my Pilot Guy!

18 Oct

Every day we wrote to each other. Right away we fell into an exciting routine, exchanging explicit messages laced with romanticism and unspoken hope. It felt as if it had always been like that, like we belonged, like our minds had found each other after searching for so long. It was sweet and fulfilling, and I never wanted it to end.

After his visit, he unclicked. All that excitement, all that want, vanished from his messages until his messages slowly vanished too. This left me on shaky ground. What was I supposed to do when he promised he wouldn’t break my heart, but it felt like it was breaking?  I can’t even continue writing the sex story we had begun to write together because it hurts too much to remember how it all started.

He said this was not a good moment for him.  After things get settled at work, he’ll let me know and we’ll talk. He is about to get some life changing news that are coming too soon after a move that took him from the world he always knew to my corner of the Caribbean. I understand his anxiety. I also understand that it seems to be in his nature to run away when things get complicated in his life. Apparently it’s difficult to change what you have been doing since you were a teen. Maybe that’s why he’s a pilot too.  He can fly away at any given time.

I don’t mean to act as if I was all that important for him. He had just met me, and even though I feel like I know him, I had just met him too.  I wonder if we’ll talk ever again.  I’d like to know if he has thought of me, at least once in the time that we haven’t exchanged any messages.  I want him to say that, yes, he misses me as much as miss him, and that he never wants to miss me again.

He has to come back to me, because the characters in our story were left speeding away in car in search of a drug lord who has secret information about a worldwide conspiracy.  These stories can’t be left unfinished.


One Response to “I want my Pilot Guy!”


  1. Filthy, two legged rat! | caramelolimon - November 1, 2013

    […] one thing, but loosing my Pilot Guy has been a little harder on me.  I already did the melancholy, denial, and guess what stage I’m in right […]

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