I know I don’t got my sh!t together yet, but I’m pretty sure most people don’t either

7 Nov

Sometimes I feel like these guys, wrestling an anaconda in a very theatrical way for no reason whatsoever.

Being so busy lately and going through a writer’s block have made me think harder about my plan and my objectives.  I’m still trying to approach this search for love as a scientific pursuit, even though I’m more of a right-brainer.  So when the opportunity to interact with a new guy presented itself, I was ready to distance myself from the events and study my interactions the way they did on that show Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

I met Necessary Roughness Guy at a restaurant’s karaoke night.  He approached my friend with a silly question about the glass of sangría she was holding, then he hung around me and we struck up a conversation.  We danced, talked about silly stuff, exchanged numbers, and closed down the place at the end of the night.

My impression of him was that he was kinda meh, but he kept texting and calling, so I decided to go out with him again five days later.  While we talked, I tried to imagine myself jumping his bones, but couldn’t quite picture it.  However, I found that he had a very important quality that I need in a man:  he wasn’t full of shit.  He talked straight, and I liked it very much.  I’m so tired of men playing games and not really saying what they actually think that this was refreshing.

I was still not sure of how much interest I had in pursuing this, so I tried to keep it light.  I practiced a lot of restraint and was actually very proud of myself for maintaining control of the situation at all times.  It seemed like I was learning something.

There was so much progress made be me in such a short amount of time that I was very impressed.  I didn’t let his calls, or lack thereof, to affect my mood during the day.  I was thinking about what I really want and trying to decide if this guy really deserved a chance to get to know me.

Then Friday came.  I had already made plans for a girl’s night out.  He asked me if he could see me that night, and I said no.  It was my girls’ night, no boys allowed.  As luck would have it, he ended up with his boys, at the same place.  That’s when it got weird for me.

He saw me and we talked, but he made no attempt to spend time with me.  He said he was with his boss, and that he was “working.”  I actually didn’t mind, cause I really didn’t need to be with him, but then I saw him several times talking to other girls, which was not “working” in my mind.  He also kept walking by my table to go to the bar, which was out of the way, and he would just bump into me or lightly touch me and hurried by again.

I think he was trying to make a point, cause I said I didn’t want to see him that night.  The thing is that I wanted to assert my independence.  I will not let myself fall again in the trap of depending too much on a man’s whim.  What I see as unnecessary is the need to play a game.  Why did he have to resort to playing games with me?  Wasn’t he a straight talker?  Couldn’t he just simply say what he thought?  Or Am I expecting too much?

After that, we haven’t talked.  It’s been three days.  He called yesterday, and I couldn’t answer.  I really am at a loss.  Can someone please explain?

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6 Responses to “I know I don’t got my sh!t together yet, but I’m pretty sure most people don’t either”

  1. tessyblog123 November 7, 2012 at 4:49 am #

    very interesting! his persistence in trying to contact you is a good thing, but then it doesn’t match his actions ie: talking to other girls. He could have been trying to make you jealous and make you want to chase him perhaps? Maybe send him a quick text message just to keep on his radar if you’re interested…. Also, loving the whole independence thing! How good is the feeling when you actually restrain yourself in a new potential relationship, haha makes you feel slightly normal!

    • caramelolimon November 7, 2012 at 10:04 am #

      I too think that he was trying to make me jealous, and that’s the problem. I don’t want to invest time in someone that will resort to that. It’s unnecessary. I also love the independence thing. It’s new for me, and I think it will be my take off from this experience.

      Thanks for your feedback and stick around. There might be more to this story!

      • tessyblog123 November 7, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

        Good point, it’s pretty childish what he is doing, shows what some people can be like once you get past their fantastic first impressions! sure will 🙂

      • caramelolimon November 8, 2012 at 12:44 am #

        I totally agreed with you until I read egointhesea’s comment below. It is a different perspective and I think it’s worth considering. 😉

  2. egointhesea November 7, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    So, I don’t think he was trying to make you “jealous,” exactly. Maybe some guys do that, but if he is a “straight-talker,” then this is probably not the case. Either he just wanted to talk to them and play the field, or he wanted to show you that he can talk to other girls and has options. Psychologically, a woman finds a man more attractive when other women like him too. I don’t think he did this to incite jealousy, since he’s made his interest in you quite clear (with contacting you often enough and bumping into you without breaking your request for “girls only”). He just did it to gain your approval and appear more desirous in your eyes.

    If you don’t like him, let him go. But I don’t think he’s “playing games.”

    • caramelolimon November 8, 2012 at 12:41 am #

      Hey, Ego!
      Thanks for putting in your two cents. I wasn’t looking at it from that perspective and, being that I evidently don’t know how to read men, what you think could very well be a possibility. You see, I would love for things to be very transparent, and so now I’m wondering if I should just ask him flat out.

      You are very right, though, about women feeling more attracted to men that other women also want. Since you’re twisting my arm, I will say that that night I felt more interested that I cared to admit. 😉

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