A first time

22 Aug

My last time had been almost two years before.  I didn’t know what to expect, how to act, what to do.  I was most certainly not an expert and I didn’t think much of it anyway.  I was limited, mechanical, uninspired.  There was no need, no knowledge, no ‘can’t live without it.’

He was just a warm body.  There was no transcendental connection, no animal attraction, no expectations of anything future.  He told me to wait in that alley, right next to the parking lot, in between the hospital and the high school.  My mind surrendered all its powers over me, and I waited.  Midday.  People waiting for me at a work meeting.

I saw him walk towards me, past the parked cars, past the point of no return.  It had been some time since I had seen him first.  Not very consequential.  He works with his hands.  They are roughened but not dirty.  He wears a uniform, but not one of those that make women swoon.  He’s nervous, I can tell.  He’s weighing his decision.  He sees me.  He decides to dive in.  He comes at me with the force of a tsunami.  Swallows me whole in his mouth.  It tastes like grape lollipop.  It’s different.  A soft tongue where I want it to be hard.  Too much teeth, not enough lips.

Still that river that has opened inside will not stop.  All the molecules vibrating.  I want.  It can’t be stopped.  I smell like a woman, he says.  This is like a high school crush, he moans.  He lifts me off my feet and I smell his neck.  People come out of the parking lot and stare.

I can’t do this, I say.  I know I can.  I know I want.  I have to go.  I’m rooted to the spot.  Yes, you can, he says.  Yes, you will, he pleads.

I drive off to my meeting thinking of how I smell of him all over.  He answers “and I want to taste like you.”  Next time.


One Response to “A first time”

  1. giveheadandheart August 23, 2012 at 9:58 am #

    I recommended you for the, “Tell Me About Yourself” award! Check out how the whole thing works on my page! Looking forward to reading your answers!

    Mistress M

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