My kid says the damnedest things

21 Jul

This week, my daughter C and I are on vacation mode, so yesterday I took her out shopping and then to a nice lunch where we had the greatest time ever.  She’s 11 years old and an only child, and she talks like she’s had a lot of experience in life.

We were talking about the latest news in her life:  her father’s wedding, which happened three days ago.  She was talking about how it was a kind of hurried event at the courthouse and, since she’s a very good diplomat, she did not give a lot of details.  I guess she still thinks that it might hurt me, even though it doesn’t.

When I heard about the wedding, I didn’t know how I felt.  I am most definitely over him.  Even though I fought with all my might against the divorce, a year and a half later, I feel happier without him.  Our marriage was fraught with childishness, immaturity and selfishness.  I loved him more than words could say, but by the end I was loving my idea of who he was, and that was not exactly him anymore.  His decision to end the marriage was the biggest blow I have ever received.  It came out of nowhere.  Opening my eyes to the truth was so painful, I thought I would not survive.

On the day of his wedding I decided to treat myself to my favorite lunch spot and then a movie.  I tried to think about what it meant for me that the man I had promised to love for eternity was getting married, and I realized that it means nothing.  There is nothing of the man I loved in him.  All I see is deceit and an absence of character that is beyond unappealing.

So yesterday when C was talking about the wedding I wanted to let her know that I am OK talking about it.  She even felt encouraged to talk about what she wants for me.  Apparently, she thinks it’s time for me to start dating again (I keep my almost non-existent dating life away from her because I think it has nothing to do with her).  She doesn’t want me to “die alone.”

In the interest of finding out how she really feels about me dating, I started asking her questions.  I asked about what kind of guy I should look for:  “not too hot, mommy.  You gotta look better than him.”  Where should we go out on a date:  “somewhere where you can sit side by side.”  How should I behave:  “don’t ever burp in front of him.”

And her last piece of advice:  “have fun, but not a lot of fun.”  Why not, I asked, and this is what she said:  “Mom, please don’t make me say the S-E-X word in a restaurant!”

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4 Responses to “My kid says the damnedest things”

  1. theseattletheory July 21, 2012 at 7:20 am #

    Sometimes you have to lose to win… It’s probably one of the most bittersweet aspects of life, you know? Romantic relationships can make you or break you, ultimately you have to keep in perspective that you can make yourself, if you give yourself a chance. Hang in there.

    • caramelolimon July 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

      Your words are very true. Right now I feel like I’m almost over the process of shedding the skin I lived in and changing into a new “me” whom, by the way, I love even more.

  2. Eleyda (@Ambrossy_) August 20, 2012 at 1:06 am #

    Kids: the people you go back to when you want to hear the truth.

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